Banning Tv

What happens when you ban TV for a week…..

So the other day when I pulled out what I would like to call “the big guns” I threatened TV would be banned for a week. There was a small sigh from my husband and I was told “you can deal with that”. Now one thing I try to stick too is once you have committed to a punishment you HAVE to go through with it. We both still recall years ago we said to Joe “If you don’t go to sleep you won’t be going to Grandmas and Grandads for a sleepover” and he didn’t go to sleep and we lost out on our childfree time, repeat, we lost our childfree time! We learnt our lesson and never again have we pulled out the “big guns” until now.

Of course after some in-depth thought by Joe he needed some clear rules on how this punishment would work, nothing gets passed this five year old. Firstly he said;

“How will Grace watch TV?”

My answer was “Grace will sit by the TV and you will sit in the other room” ,

“What will I do?” My answer “Play with Lego”.

This is my favourite question and in all fairness he does find it hard to sit still, “How will I sit down? It’s the only way I can stay still.” my answer “Let’s get the Lego out.”

Day 1

Feeling pretty smug, only a little bit of moaning in the morning and then they played with Lego and completed puzzles. I actually should of won “Mum of the year” award today, but to be fair he was at school most of the day so I didn’t actually have to parent too much.

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Youngest sibling

The benefits of being the youngest child

As the youngest child you can get a raw deal on occasion, for example:

  • You will probably rarely own anything new (we are still waiting for the red scooter to fade to pink in the sun, that was the cunning plan and it hasn’t quite worked out as hoped)
  • You will have the smallest bedroom in the house
  • You are not allowed to play with older siblings toys as they are not age appropriate and it always causes arguments.

HOWEVER,  all is not lost there is a plus side to being the youngest child….

Your parents have pretty much given into the fact that life will never be the same again. Lie ins are years away, holidays that actually involve reading a book in the sun are simply something they can look forward to in their retirement but they are taking it in their stride and almost enjoying it.

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11 goals for 2018

I have made some goals instead of New Year’s resolutions for 2018 (maybe they are the same thing?) it will be interesting to look back because I usually set unrealistic goals and have given up by 3rd January but this year I’m going give it a go and be realistic.

  • To finish Harry Potter and the Philsopher’s stone book that I have been reading to Joe before bed. We only get through a couple of pages at a time with questions about everything, “Is he a goody or a baddie” ” What’s Hogwarts?” “Who is Harry?” I particularly like that every time I say ” he who can’t named” he says “Donald Trump?”. I’m not sure where that has come from?
  • This should probably be the first goal but keeping the kids fed, well and happy.
  • Not to be a twat about things and wallow in self pity, when I gave up my job to become a stay at home mum I did walk around in a grump for a couple of months muttering to myself at time of tantrums “I’ve given up 15 years of a career for you” but now I realise how lucky I am to be in this position.
  • Take a creative writing course so my husband doesn’t have to proof read everything I write/ramble on about.
  • To achieve the perfect milk levels in the house so my husband is not making a regular trip to the shop at night for milk. Also to do an online shop without forgetting something.
  • Drive to Bluewater, now this seems a bit strange but I do have anxiety about driving and its got to stop as I could be doing some serious shopping instead of ordering from M&S online.
  • Not to lose every lid of my Tupperware.
  • Take the children on one day trip a month. Now my children don’t get out that much as I have the attitude that it’s loads of effort for not much return. So yes Joe and Grace you will get to go to the Zoo for the first time. Any good suggestions?
  • Get through the terrible twos……..starts 31st Jan……wish me luck.
  • Stay the size I am now, not because I think I need to lose or gain weight but mainly because I have had a massive clear out of clothes and I won’t have any clothes if I change from this size.
  • Paint the Ikea stool and Stokke chairs……………..I’m willing to let this one go.

What’s your plan for 2018? If you have one? It might just be winging it and that works for me if it works for you.

My reasons why I don’t have Mum guilt

That feeling of mum guilt is something I think everyone feels once or twice in their lives as parents. However, I have learnt how to deal with my mum guilt (well most of it) by remembering the more challenging parts of parenting and reminding myself I should enjoy this guilt free time.

Here are my top 9 reasons why I don’t have mum guilt;

• Chicken Pox – We have had this three times in our house and I only have two children. The first time round it was when my eldest (Joe) was 3 and the youngest (Grace) was 6 weeks, we were contagious and house bound for about three weeks, it was a tough time.

• For the broken glass in the back door after I said “don’t throw stones”. Yes this happened but on the plus side I have been using this quite a bit. For example “Please don’t climb up there you might fall” he still climbs “do you remember that time when mummy said don’t throw stones and you broke the glass” he gets down and doesn’t climb anymore. Boom.

• The time I fished out a Lego head out of the toilet. When Joe was younger his reward chart toys were Lego mini figures and one day he dropped it down the toilet in his poo, he was so upset as he had worked really hard, I took a deep breath and fished that Lego head out.

• Nappies, something no one can avoid. How many nappies do you think you will change being a mum of two? I’m thinking 3650, that’s on average over 3 years, 5 nappies a day times 2 children.  

• The cancelled plans. When a child is sick everything gets cancelled and I’m not talking about a cold I’m talking about the sickness where they are contagious and you’re not allowed to take them anywhere. Every time we are going to a wedding the week before we have the discussion of who is going to stay with the kids if they are really ill (basically something Grandma can’t deal with), it usually comes down to which friend is getting married and who is the plus one partner.

• Public tantrums. For every tut, judgemental glance, comment, avoided cafe as you aren’t really welcome (they make it so narrow you can’t get the pushchair in) and every “cherish every moment” comment you get when you have been up since 4am and haven’t slept longer for 4 hours in a row for 5 years.

• For every bruise, hair pull, scratch to the face and surprise bundle that you encounter on a daily basis.

• For every swimming lesson that they have not listened to or have just walked off and had a shower (this use to be a regular occurrence!).

• Trying to get out of the house, this is mission impossible EVERY time. Socks, shoes are thrown about, tops are unzipped straight away after being put on and general un-cooperation goes on.

So if your feeling a bit of mum guilt just remember you deserve that time off whether it be 5 mins,  a commute or a weekend away…..Enjoy should enjoy it. 

Center Parcs review ……Holland style.

We recently embarked on our annual trip to Center parcs in Holland. Now there are plus points going to a Center Parcs abroad as its a lot cheaper, the car trip and ferry is exciting for the kids (maybe not so much the parents) as you can treat it like a mini cruise.

So over the last four years of holidaying with children I have now accepted it’s not going to be relaxing, next year we are definitely going somewhere with a kids club! I brought these “This Mama does” milestones cards to capture the highs and the lows.

Scorchio/Rain rain go away – It definitely was not hot, but this actually didn’t really matter as when you are at Center Parcs there is loads to do inside and the trees are a good shelter, there is also nothing like whipping out your mum’s borrowed pac-a-mac in all of its purple patterned glory.

Happy Campers – Holidays are about doing stuff but sometimes everybody needs some “down time” so the iPad can be brought out, which in our house is a holiday treat.

Are we there yet? – The classic car trip to holiday but it all adds to the fun, the excitement building up in the car as you cruise through Europe listening to French radio (Joe fm). Even if the sat nav says 10 more miles add on an extra 7 miles for the detour round the small villages that the sat nav has sent you on to avoid that 30 second traffic jam.

Scream for Ice Cream – The whole family could scream for this but this year we were more scream for M&M’s that Joe and Grace enjoyed helping themselves to in the fridge door.

Picnic Party – No picnics on this holiday, the ground was too wet or covered in bugs so it was a packet of mini cheddars in the villa.

A bit of culture/Day Tripping – It would seem Grace is not on the blogging corporation band wagon yet and can not hold a card. We did visit a national park in Holland called De Hoge Veluwe where there is free bike hire, and a museum with Van Gogh paintings, obviously we didn’t get to go in there but the restaurant and play park were great.

Water babies – Joe and Grace enjoyed a jacuzzi bath every night and even made the seat bits into their own slide. I would like to say I enjoyed a jacuzzi bath but it was a bit loud and would have woken the kids as it sounded like a plane taking off.

And Chill – For about 43 mins then you end up falling asleep as you are so knackered but it is quite nice because you don’t have the daily things to do and that endless to do list can wait.

Living the dream – Having a BBQ is living the dream for Joe, so off we went to the nearest town to purchase a disposable BBQ for €1.99 and Joe’s dream came true.

No washing up – We did venture out one night to the buffet that meant no washing up and the chocolate fountain and the ice cream machine were amazing.

This is not relaxing – We waited for 15 mins with the mini carousel going round and round but they loved it, even though myself and husband where on catch Grace when she tries to jump off duty.

Happy Hour – Clearly we were not going to be taking advantage of the happy hour but breakfast was our happy hour it consisted of bacon, sugar, honey, lemons and blueberry pancakes.

Holidays are go – When your kids go on safari and try to drive a small jeep round a dirt track, everyone’s patience was tested but actually pleasantly surprised and I think Joe might be a better driver than me.

 

 

 

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Stop sibling rivalry: How to get yourself noticed as the 2nd child

When you are the second child things are tough, you are sharing your parents with another equally needy (in different ways) sibling. Here is a 16 months old top tips on how to get noticed as the second child.

  • Be a good sleeper at first, this will lure your parents into thinking they are totally winning at the parenting game. Anyway as you are the second child they won’t get up to every sniff and snuffle as they know you are fine, so just grab yourself a jellycat and snuggle up. Sleeping also gives your parents energy to do lots of fun things, parents are much more fun when they are not staring into space most of the day and shaking from the caffeine intake.

 

  • Build up a bond with your sibling or siblings as this makes  your life a lot easier and your parents will notice you more as you are hanging out with the one that they focus all their attention on.

 

  • Spend the first five months in your bouncy chair observing what your sibling does on a day-to-day basis, ensure you note their weaknesses. For example my parents clearly would love my brother to sit down and colour and create beautiful artwork worthy of framing and becoming part of the family home, so once you are fit enough start showing an interest in colouring, showing off you ability to sit down and hold a crayon and make a mark on the page.  Your parents will think you are genius and start muttering things like “look she might be a sit down and colour kind of child”

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How to survive your first night out after having a baby

So you have grown a baby, your baby has come out one way or another, you have fed it, stayed up all night and day with it but now it’s time to get a small piece of your life back. The thought of going out on your own is daunting and going out at night with no children in the dark is scary but also exciting.

Here are some top tips on how to get yourself out there and how to survive it.

Select your crew

Don’t go out with your friends that still go out every weekend, these people have a tolerance for alcohol and never left the game, you wont be able to keep up with them and it’s going to end up messy. Pick your friends that know when to call it a night.

Plan the babysitter 

You need to get a babysitter that you can trust and you know can handle any situation, if you don’t you will be worrying all night. Ideally your other half is the best bet as they will know what they are doing. If possible try and get a lie in the next day or even better, a sleepover elsewhere.

Planning getting ready

It pretty much takes me 24 hours to get ready, this will involve a hair wash and a good hour of hair straightening the night before. Plan your outfit, work out what you can squeeze into and just go with it. You just need to cover the basics, clean hair, clean clothes and a bag that isn’t the baby’s changing bag (unless you are using you Tiba and Marl clutch). During nap time start the make up process and continue when you can after that.

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How to survive maternity leave in 10 easy steps 

Before you have a baby you visualise maternity leave as a year off and it can’t be that hard looking after a baby? I optimistically signed up for a tastecard as I thought I would be lunching out all the time, needless to say I never used that card once. Here are my tips on how to survive maternity leave.

Prep up

I stocked the house with everything so I didn’t have to leave the house in the early days, ok so this feels a bit over kill but it really helped, mainly because a trip to the shops with a baby can take all day and needs to be planned between feeds, nappy changes and general exhaustion. We had enough food and toiletries for 6 weeks!

Get yourself some Mum mates

You are not going to like everyone it’s best to find the ones that are similar to you and that make you happy. Unfortently your children are not going to always like each other and that’s ok too, this is normal. There are local Facebook groups, put yourself out there, what have you got the lose. Recently apps similar to Tinder for mum’s now exist like Mush, also playgroups are good, try it out it might not be your thing but hey you’ve given it a go.

Box sets

On maternity leave number two, I re-watched the whole of Desperate Housewives and all of Game of Thrones. At 1st I found the time whilst I was waiting for number 2 to arrive and then all the feeding and late nights provided more than enough time. 

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12 reason why I need my Children more than they need me

So I will be entering back into the world as a childless person 3 days a week in the new year and we have started the settling in sessions so I have had time on my hands, which feels a little strange I think I have worked out that I need my kids more than they need me, here’s why.

  • When you have a child/children the world is a friendlier place where people smile, they give loving looks to your baby and toddler and say things like, “I would love mine to be that age again” “Enjoy this time as they soon grow up”.  People stop and chat they even chuckle when they hear your toddlers funny comments, it could almost be compared to be walking around in a Mary Poppins type film. When you don’t have children with you no one smiles and god forbid any type of conversation, they give you the look of “you’ve let yourself go” which brings me onto my next point.
  • Your appearance is totally excused when you have children. Bad hair, no make up, bad nails, dirty clothes, generally looking harassed is all fine with kids attached to you somewhere. If on the odd occasion I make it out without the kids and I do happen to get into a conversation (which is rare) I make some reference to having children, mainly I do this in a gym class just to excuse appearance and lack of effort.
  • When you have children its totally acceptable to drive everywhere, even if its to the end of road because the hassle of getting the pushchair and buggy board (which is sometimes the best thing I have brought and sometimes the worst) out is just too much effort but just popping the kids in the car is easier and results in everyone being warm and dry.
  • Gives you motivation to go to the gym and enjoy it, yes when you only have 3 hrs a week spare there is no “I will go tomorrow” excuse as tomorrow everything could of fallen apart, illness could of struck, someone might be having a bad day.
  • You can park in massive spaces that have room around the edge, I’m really bad at parking, bit of a cliche but when I passed my driving test (which took 5 attempts) I got my car stuck in a multi storey car park and had to ask a stranger to move it for me! I have even worked out the best parking spaces for size to open doors with enough space to get the children out, I’m fully aware this is more of an elderly past time of liking to park in the same place but when you’ve got kids its just practical, right?
  • You can act like a bit of a tit by singing, dancing and watching loads disney/pixar films.
  • Mums love chatting to other mums, it’s like you have joined a club once you have given birth where you just chat as you are all in the same boat and sometimes you just need to off load. Its not often before I had children I would talk to a stranger about poo, sick, wee etc everyone is so open.
  • You can force your children to like Lego and anything you failed at as child, just get your children to do it to fulfil your dreams.
  • When the dentist asks if you floss everyday and you answer no, you can mention I just don’t have the time, I have kids.
  • I never really knew about anything cool before but now I have got the prefect excuse because I’ve got children its totally ok to be out of the loop. Boom (isn’t that how the cool kids communicate these days?)
  • It’s totally fine to have old ikea furniture from your pre children days because as far as I’m concerned until they grow up its a free for all and something will always get broken.
  • Probably the biggest thing is I wouldn’t have anything to blog about and laugh with about, because before children the memories are starting to fade but I was pretty much either drunk or hungover and always saying I will go to the gym tomorrow

 

 

Here’s to wearing the my mother jumper on my 1st day back just to make it crystal clear.